Susurrus

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alissa hissed at me, again. Demi, demi."

“Shh!”  

I was trying to pay attention. These classes are $400 a season, and I have no intention of wasting them. Grand plié, turn into the barre, tendu to second. 

“Pierre! I’m talking to you!” Alissa whispered harshly after a moment of silence. Grand plié. She looked like a manic little troll, squatting and grasping the bar. I snicker, then quickly became serious before Mme. Natalya caught my face in the mirror. I adjust my turnout, tighten my core, follow my hand. This may be a large class, but Mme. Natalya is no fool. 

“Pierre!” 

“What!” I whisper back, harshly. 

“Why. Did. You. Not. Tell. Me!?” she asks. 

I roll my eyes. Do I have to tell her everything now. I check myself in the mirror. Demi, demi. I straighten my back, adjust my pelvis. Is that a hole in my flat? I ignore it. 

“ And now we go into a grand plié … Please take all eight counts Daphne,” Mme. Natalya says as she surveys the room. She slaps down on Sophie’s arm; Sophie wavers a bit. “Weak arms do not land jobs Sophia,” she says.  

Sophie smiles faintly and visibly flexes her arms. I can practically see her thinking “Big beach ball, little beach ball” in her head.  

I give Alissa a furtive “we’ll discuss this later” gesture as we turn stretch out of second and turn away from the barre. 

Alissa gives a clear “we’re discussing this now” look. Cambré back. 

“Alissa, mind your eyes! Look at your hand! Pierre do not twist, arch back, lift and release,” Mme. Natalya says from across the room.  

We adjust accordingly.  

“I don’t have to tall you the second these things happen. Can you be chill for one second? Please?” I hiss at her. Tendu to fourth. Ugh. Fourth. 

“Absolutely not!” Demi – grunt – rise. 

“I will give you the details later, oh my GOD you are dramatic!” and then we demi – grunt – rise again. 

“I can’t believe that you would hide this from your best friend and – ” 

“Ohmigodohmigodshutup!”  graaaaaaaaaaaand – grunt, grunt, grunt – and plié. 

Mme. Natalya walks past us. She says nothing, only slightly shakes her head. We are ashamed. Soutenu, other side. Silence as we repeat that miserable task.  

“It’s literally not a big deal,” I whisper. Tendu to fifth, sigh in relief. 

“It was the biggest deal! You promised you’d tell me the second it happened!” Alissa hisses. Demi, demi. “This was a two-man operation! I should have been updated on its success the second it happened!” 

“I was trying to be cool, okay! I didn’t want to be a giant nerd about it for two seconds!” 

“You think I’m a nerd now? You get one date and suddenly you’re too cool for – ” 

“I never said that! I was going to tell you, I just wanted to wait – ” 

“Oh, no never mind! I don’t want to know! Wouldn’t want to stink up your date with my nerd stink!” 

“That doesn’t even make sense! You’re my best friend, I wanted to tell you right away, but – " 

“Then why didn’t you?” 

“Because I can’t be the only person you ever talk to! We both need to have lives, you can’t just hang onto me all the fucking time!” I say. There is silence. 

“Pierre. Alissa. Keep your personal drama out of my studio,” Mme. Natalya says. 

My face gets hot. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Alissa is silent. She is for the rest of the class. 

I hope we can talk later.